TRAVELING IS GOOD, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?
Trip highlights: BUENOS AIRES
Some time for the couple: traveling without the children for the first time ... What a challenge!
Buenos Aires is an affordable, pleasant and friendly destination near Brazil. In our case, the "near" was the main factor for choosing such destination. It was the first trip we took without the kids. It was a 4-day trip, knowing that if I needed I would come back quickly. My husband planned everything, including the full support of my mother and brothers, trying to make it as easy as possible for me.
I was a mother who just managed to get back to the beauty parlor for a manicure for the one-year birthday of my first son, who just allowed the nanny to touch the child when I had to go back to work and even so, after fighting with her when she was giving him a bath. Anyway, as you can see, that leaving the kids behind would not be an easy task at all!
The children were 3 and 6 years old. It was a good timing. Much easier for the mother when you have two kids. Brothers want to be together and frankly, every day I get more convinced that since they are together, that's fine for them. However, suffering was inevitable. On the weeks just before the trip, I was excited with the possibility of visiting a new destination, but on the other side, I was suffering for I was feeling the worst of the mothers. How could I have fun leaving my children behind? How could they survive without me?
The flight there was extremely painful, with a suffocating feeling increasing every minute. I arrived at the hotel and the first thing I did was to call home ... the kids did'n't even want answer the phone. On the background, I could hear the family having a ball with both of them. They were super mega pampered! I thought that it had not taken enough time for them to start missing me, but the days passed by and they went on in the same way: happy and finding it all very natural. Gradually I relaxed, realizing that they could live without me and that there were other people who loved them just as much as me. Real fact: the ones who suffer the most are us, the mothers!
It was quite an experience! My husband and I managed to do simple things, that since the children were born we had not done anymore, such us, wake up close together the time we wanted, watch something on TV that was not cartoon, walking hand in hand through the streets ... and gradually I looked at him and remembered why I had married him. I began to feel again the same emotions of the time we started dating... How nice to see that we love the person who, although very close and intimate, seemed so distant and unknown.
So, I really recommend these little get away moments with 10 basic advices:
1. Pay attention to the degree of independence of your children. Not only if they do things alone, after all, believe, grandmothers and uncles know how to help you too. But if they are able to communicate clearly expressing their wishes and desires. This will help a lot those who will take care of them.
2. Try to leave them on a routine of entertainment and activities they like the most, that they are familiar with. I prefer to leave them at home with the structure that they are used to. Otherwise, a trip with grandparents or ants and uncles can also be cool! They will be distracted with so much new activities. In short, leave them, either at home or with an intense programming activity list.
3. Keep him close to another child. Every child wants to be with other children! If he has brothers or sisters, better. If not, try cousins or friends. When they are together, they don't even remember the adults.
4. Begin with shorter and nearby trips and then you can venture all you want. Of course, within the limit abuse of bothering the whole family.
5. Identify the family members that the children trust and enjoy being together. One that when you start talking about traveling, the kids already ask with a naughty smile; Will we stay with Grandma?
6. Give them more freedom. During your absence, do not ask for a strict diet, for example. In any case, your family will only give them the food they like and at the time they want. Make sure your house is stocked with goodies or reserve some money so they can get them. The kids will associate your departure with guaranteed pleasure.
7. Depending on the age, and nowadays they start early, teach them how to use Skype or something similar. You will feel much better sitting at a table in a restaurant and having them keep track of you. They will love to see you show your room and the places you are in, whenever possible. And you will love to see that smiling and happy face telling you: I love you mom!
8. Avoid choosing destinations and activities you know your children like. You will not be happy, enjoying something they like, without them. It's a time for the couple. So, go for more romantic and adults activities and less interesting destinations for children. Of course!
9. Leave, with easy access, a short list of medication and dosage if necessary, and set aside the basic documents: identity, pediatrician's phone number and health plan membership card. This will make you feel comfortable.
10. Do not lie to your children. Have a straight forward talk with them explaining that mom and dad need to have some time for themselves and do adult stuff. Show that there are activities that they do not like, but that you do, then enjoy doing them. Make them understand that you left everything organized for them to feel good. They should feel that they will be taken care and not abandoned. This trusting relationship is extremely healthy for the whole family.
Buenos Aires reminds me of romance. It was the rebirth of a couple much more mature and closer. So, if you still didn't have the courage to leave your little ones,
this is a destination that we recommend! A new family relationship will emerge. Try it! In addition, you will have fun shopping in leather factories, among shoes,
handbags and coats. Isn't it the perfect combination?
Alexandra.
